Contract vs. Covenant

What is the difference between a Covenant marriage and a contractual marriage?

Bruce C. Hafen describes the difference in his talk, "Covenant Marriage."

"Another bride sighed blissfully on her wedding day, 'Mom, I’m at the end of all my troubles!' 'Yes,' replied her mother, 'but at which end?' When troubles come, the parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away. They marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they’re receiving what they bargained for. But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work them through. They marry to give and to grow, bound by covenants to each other, to the community, and to God. Contract companions each give 50 percent; covenant companions each give 100 percent."

Covenant marriages are long suffering, charitable, eternal, forgiving, selfless, and loving.  Contractual marriages are selfish, "till death do us part."  Or it seems to be more like, "till problems do us part," in this day and age.  Marriages are easier to end than ever before now thanks to no fault divorce laws.  All a couple has to do is say they are no longer in love or they are just no longer compatible with their partner.  Covenant marriages work through problems and grow closer together through trials.  Contractual marriages flee at the first sight of any dysfunction.

Bruce C. Hafen also describes the beautiful example of Christ versus the hireling watching over a flock of sheep.  A hireling is exactly what it sounds like, someone who was hired to watch over a flock of sheep.  They have no attachments to the flock, no emotional ties.  They are simply doing a job for payment.  When a wolf comes to the flock, how likely do you think it is that the hireling would flee?  I would bet very likely.  They wouldn't risk their life for just a job.  Christ on the other hand would lay his life down just for one sheep.  He would leave the whole flock to find one lost sheep and bring it back to the fold.  Much like the hireling, contractual marriages flee when the wolves come.  Covenant marriages are patterned after Christ, they sacrifice and lay down their lives so to speak for the one sheep, or their spouse.  Wolves may come, and when they do, they stick together and turn to God for strength in their marriage.

I want my marriage to be patterned after Christ's example of watching over the flock of sheep.  I want to be selfless in my marriage and think of my husband and his needs above my own.  When the wolves come, and they certainly do, I want to be fortified with the power of God through our covenants we made in the temple.  I think we can fortify our home through temple attendance, family prayer, family home evening, and other such activities that will bring a spirit of Christ into our marriage.

Wolves definitely come, it is not a question it is a part of life here on earth.  However, we can seek strength and protection at the temple.  I love going to the temple with my husband because the spirit there is so sweet and we can renew our sacred covenants we made on our wedding day.  Going to the temple gives us strength and joy.